Mothers Day

From a visit to Duthie Park with
my mom :) We watched the bumbles
for ages, sitting on a bench in the sun.

I'm posting late today - at the end of Mothers Day but I'm still wishing all the moms out there a blessed day. I know that Mothers Day is difficult for some and ignored by others - for many reasons - and for those moms/children I hope the day passed painlessly.

Yesterday I was one of 3 speakers at our church for our Mothers Day service and I started with a personal story about my mom. Even though I'd practiced in advance - and thought I would be ok sharing - I still broke down when I read it out loud. My church family rallied around, with one of my fellow speakers coming to stand by my side for the entire 10 minutes I spoke and the rest of them calling out their support. It made me sniffle more... but I know I am blessed in my church family...

My mom lives in Scotland now so we're reduced to Skyping, emails and summer visits. We had our rough times and battles when I was growing up; we still have the occasional problems - she's a very strong woman! - but when I most needed her in my life she was by my side in a heartbeat and got me through the worst moments of my life.

I want so badly for my children to say that of me: that I accept them for who they are; that I love them no matter what; that they can always call on me for anything and know that I'll be there.

They're 22 and 24 now. One is married; one is at college. They're both living their own lives and I don't know what the future will bring. It's likely that we'll all end up living on different sides of the Atlantic and I'll only see them once a year - like my mom and me. How can I be there for them if I'm nowhere near them?

I don't know what I'll be doing next year at this time - I may be preparing to relocate to live near my mom and away from my children...

I don't know where my children will be... my son has plans to leave for England this year; my daughter is applying for college transfers.

All I know is that this year, this day I realize, as a daughter, how much my mother means to me, how much I love and appreciate her - and, as a mother, how much I love and appreciate my children.